Nostalgia

1:03 on a Saturday afternoon and I'm still in bed.  I suppose if anyone asks I can blame it on a hangover, but that would be dishonest seeing as how I only had two drinks at the bar last night.  Maybe a better way to put it would just be a total lack of motivation to do anything.  Or maybe it's because I can't help but dwell on the past.

I learned yesterday that other animals endure stress the same way we do, but once whatever it is that is stressing them has gone, they simply let it go.  For this, I am jealous of them.  

My whole outlook on life is based on what has happened and how it has affected me, and not what will happen and how I will affect things.  I dwell, I ruminate, I linger, and it keeps me from doing what I want to do and being who I want to be.  Often times my lingering just leaves me depressed and I'm no fun to be around.  I'm sure anyone that reads this (if anyone reads this) who knows me can attest to this point.  

That being said, I do not think that having a full understanding of the past is such a bad thing.  Yes, the bad things that have happened have simply happened and there is nothing to do to change that fact at this point, but I think that in order to move forward you have to know where you came from.  Everything in life moves you to where you are.  I guess my life experiences have led me to be a 21 year old college student spending his one day off a week in bed writing useless blogs.  I have been thinking a lot about this rut or whatever it is that I've been in recently, and I think what I need more than anything is to just get away from it all.

I don't know where to go, or for how long, but I feel like I need my "Walden" experience.  This is probably useless because I'm sure as soon as I got up into the mountains or wherever I want to go I would get homesick.  

If anyone has a cure-all for this shit let me know